


Ouroboros

by Bogoro



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mutually Unrequited, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, im so fucking sorry, neither is having a good time honestly, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:15:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23802187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bogoro/pseuds/Bogoro
Summary: They aren't lovers, not by any stretch of the word. Though, for as much as Sylvain could not stand Lorenz, he was at the very least kind enough never to bring him up. And for some reason that even Sylvain couldn't figure out, he would stay when it was over, holding him.For this alone, Lorenz would always come back.
Relationships: Sylvain Jose Gautier/Lorenz Hellman Gloucester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Ouroboros

**Author's Note:**

> h
> 
> i like angsty unrequited love a lot u know?  
> i also like sylvain/lorenz as a rarepair but i also think theyre REALLY good angst material  
> mostly on the ground theyre both very different in a lot of views they hold  
> if they jumped straight into things w/out some way to deal w/ their baggage they'd have a terribly unhealthy relationship
> 
> also i wrote this back in march at 6am while i was hardly coherent so im sorry,,

They brought the worst out in each other.

Lorenz knew this well and he made no effort to change it. As harmful as their trysts were to his mental state, the temporary thoughts of someone wanting him were enough to stop the voice of reason from convincing him of anything else.

His moans weren't meant for Sylvain, but he let them go anyway. When he called out a name, it was not his. Neither cared, they knew what this was.

When he could, he'd close his eyes and imagine someone else. Someone sweet, with eyes that remind him of spring, sun kissed cheeks that he wished so terribly to hold in his hand. Imagining those callused hands, worn from the years spent with a bow, holding him, caressing his body, whose heat mixed with his own. The man whose soft lips he wished would kiss his shoulder and whisper "I love you."

The biting would take him out of that fantasy, but he moaned all the same.

" _Brute_."

"You _like_ the biting."

It was complicated.

The marks and bruises became a reminder, a fake one. Fooling himself and pretending they were the marks of a lover, he belonged to someone who loves him enough to claim him in such a way.

It's all he wanted, someone to love, and someone to love him. He didn't love Sylvain, and Sylvain doesn't love him.

He always ached, his body would feel the dull stinging all over, but worst of all his chest hurt the most.

This hopeless heart would kill him. Yearning for only one man, a man who could never return his affections. Who will only see him as his closest friend and ally.

The gods were cruel, the first man he loves is the hardest to get over.

The only man to take him cared little than to satiate his own demons. They simply used each other.

Sylvain was hardly his friend, the only thing they had in common were emotions that sex could drown out momentarily.

Though their agreement was civil, and to an extent they can get along and even share a genuine laugh, all the feelings of familiarity and the niceties were left at the door of the bedroom.

He was allowed to be cruel, to let out his anger on him. He would imagine Lorenz to be whatever woman he sought to ruin for even reciprocating his flirtations.

This was how he curved his womanizing streak, instead of taking it out on them, he could take it out on Lorenz.

This wasn't fixing anything. It wasn't meant to.

Lorenz wanted the pain Sylvain inflicted to match the pain his stupid heart caused. When he calls out the name of his hopeless love, it comes out in a sob. Mourning for the affection he so desperately wants, that he _needs_ but won't receive here.

This made Sylvain sick. It was a pathetic sight. Lorenz pissed him off more than the woman who would use him. Sometimes he didn't need to pretend he was someone else, but to watch Lorenz cry would hardly bring him any joy, it only served to make him crueler.

" _I hate your crying_."

" _And I hate the bruises I am forced to hide with makeup._ "

They bickered bitterly. No matter the physical pain it could never keep Lorenz from speaking.

Some day he hoped to break him, a nobleman who put status above all else, above his own happiness. Who still cries for months over his first love who couldn't reciprocate the feelings that took him too long to figure out.

He jumped head first into whatever Sylvain had to offer. In his state of despair, someone holding him at all felt too tempting to turn down, even if teeth and nails were involved.

Only a fool would agree to this and for that Sylvain would give him what a fool deserves.

They aren't lovers, not by any stretch of the word. Though, for as much as Sylvain could not stand Lorenz, he was at the very least kind enough never to bring _him_ up. And for some reason that even Sylvain couldn't figure out, he would stay when it was over, holding him.

For this alone, Lorenz would always come back.

**Author's Note:**

> believe it or not i really do like sylvain i kno i probably made him sound terrible but like i just imagine hes got some heavily untapped and misplaced anger issues khfgvwg  
> if u wanna see shameless and explicit non-angsty shit? find me at @aydiosmiopls on twitter  
> literally everything about this except for it having lorenz in it is off brand from me iM SORRY,,


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